1 week

So here I am again…

7 days until I run the marathon.

As I have mentioned before, I was NOT ready for the marathon last year.  Not physically and more importantly not mentally.  I let it become bigger than me.  I talk all the time about how people can have so much potential inside of them to do whatever they want, but the fact of the matter is, I did not believe in my own message when it came to me.  I still thought of myself of the overweight kid in high school or would breathing heavy after running a block.  The fact is that I am not that kid anymore.  I haven’t been for a long time, and I don’t plan on going back to that kid.  There is no chance that you can become amazing unless you try to become amazing.  If I was able to show 16 year old me what I can do, the fact is, that he would think that what I am doing is amazing.  So why shouldn’t the present-day me think the same?

So what did I do? I stuck much closer to the training plan this year and I trained smarter.  The pounding of running will take its toll on a larger framed person like myself.  So unscheduled rest days are a must.  I am not a professional, so I need to make sure I take care of my body when it is asking for it.  On the same note, if I want to succeed, I need to put in the work.  No one else…just me.  So this year, I made sure I couldn’t make any excuses when marathon day came along.  This year I want to step into the corral at the marathon and know that I did everything in my power to be successful.  I believe I have fulfilled that requirement.

OK, confession time…

EVERY Sunday of this training program, I contemplated quitting.  I had many great runs and I had some bad runs, but the thought of just calling it quits was on time every week.  The day after my long runs on Saturday I sat back and I was in disbelief that I just ran that distance, or I could not believe I logged those miles throughout the week, or month.  I fantasized with the idea of just stopping my training altogether and drown my failure in ice cream.  But then Monday would come.  I would transform into this robot when I put my running shoes on.  And like clockwork I would get back into my groove once again.  I would get through the week, get my long run done, and then say hello to the question of Sunday.  It was a vicious cycle, but I knew to expect it every single week.  So I’m here on a Sunday night, thinking about quitting, just like any other week.

But something is different this week.  Yesterday I ran 9 miles for the last long run of the marathon training.  I look back at yesterday, and I know I ran it.  I look back and think, “that was easy”.  I am confident about how I ran those 9 miles.  I am confident I can do that again, almost 3 times in a row, next Sunday, with 45,000 other people, and millions of people cheering.

So here we are, on a Sunday, 7 days away from my second marathon, and I don’t want to quit.

I don’t know how to…